What you’re actually stimulating is the urethral sponge, an area of the CUV complex that is often the last to swell with arousal - so it’s best to wait until your partner is really turned on before trying this. Remember, everybody is different and there’s no way to find the right spot without talking to your partner and asking what feels good. If you’re interested in exploring G-spot stimulation, slide your fingers along the anterior wall of the vagina (up towards the belly) until you’re an inch or two deep and you feel a slightly different texture. Start with just one or two fingers and move very slowly, checking in as you go. Once you get the go-ahead from your partner, continue the slow pace. But internal stimulation can also provide a great deal of pleasure if it’s something you and your partner would like to try. Many people find it easier to orgasm from external stimulation. Good fingering doesn’t need to include penetration.
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Do you need to penetrate when you finger someone? Not only does this not require too much thinking right at the moment, but asking for that kind of feedback allows someone to say what they want with less fear of hurting your feelings. It’s often easier to give a choice between two things, like “harder or softer,” “faster or slower,” “left or right,” etc. While it’s always wonderful to ask someone how they’d like to be touched, not everyone will have the language to explain that.
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Ask your partner how they like to be fingeredĪs you’re trying touch techniques, you’ll want to check-in and see how your partner feels about what you’re doing and what they might like done differently. Especially once someone is aroused, you’ll be able to feel the clitoral shaft and that area is often very sensitive. Instead, use the clitoral hood to your advantage and slide that tissue up and down the clitoral shaft, thinking of it like a tiny handjob on a penis. When you’re ready to focus on more direct clitoral stimulation, you still don’t want to go right for the head of the clit - that area is often too sensitive even when fully aroused. For example, you can ask them things like, “Are you ready for your clit to be touched?” and “Are you ready for penetration?” You can also look for non-verbal cues, such as if they are moving your hand towards their clit, or if they are making exciting noises. This helps wake up all the tissues and continues to enforce the idea that nothing will happen too fast.Įvery time you want to progress to something new, check-in with your partner. Once you’re ready for more, try moving the whole hand to provide uniform pressure.
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This is also a great time to focus on other forms of intimacy like eye contact, kissing, and touching the rest of their body with your other hand. This allows your partner to get used to being touched and shows them things won’t progress too quickly. Try placing your hand over the entire vulva and just holding still. It’s really helpful to start slowly at the beginning to allow your partner to relax. It’s important to pay attention to the whole area, not only because it can feel really good, but because pinpoint sensation on an area as sensitive as the clitoris is often overwhelming before reaching higher states of arousal. While the clitoris and the G-spot get most of the attention, the entire vulva is a potential erogenous zone. Everyone is different, so learning anatomy doesn’t get you out of talking to your partner, but it’s a good place to start.
TABLEDIT RIGHT HAND FINGERING HOW TO
How to be good at fingeringīefore stimulating a body, it helps to know some basic anatomy. Like any other kind of sex, fingering is a learned skill.
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While many of us may have been experimenting with fingering since we were teenagers, that doesn’t mean we know how to do it well. Your fingers also receive a multitude of sensations which allow you to enjoy your partner’s body. But hands are incredibly versatile, intimate tools that can allow you to touch someone in exactly the ways they enjoy. Hand sex - using hands and fingers to stimulate sexual pleasure - gets a bad rap, like it’s somehow less than other sex acts.